June 11, 2016

Why I’m Not Sorry I’m a Self-Involved Mom

 

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Why is it these days to be considered a good mom, we have to give up ourselves?

I was there. I remember the feeling so well. Honestly, it was not too long ago. I had just had my first son, and was completely enthralled with “mommyhood.” I mean with such a precious little being it is easy to get caught up in it all. Especially after tending to the baby, going to mommy and me classes, having the day revolve around napping and feeding schedules, and then going to mom groups to then talk more about mommyhood. It’s was so easy to lose myself in the “mom life.”

Then one day, I realized I was lost. Completely gone. A vague resemblance of who I once was. I remember thinking who I was, was a “mom.” But the truth of it is that we are so much more than “mom’s,” aren’t we.

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At that point I decided to start becoming more concerned with myself. Not in a way that I was neglecting my children, or loving them less. But in a way that I could become more of myself, to then give more to my children.

It’s kind of like the air mask rule when you are on an airplane. Take care of yourself first before assisting others.

And for me, the obsession with reclaiming myself started with fitness and weightloss. Through fitness I slowly gained the strength and the courage to be me again. Separate from the label of “mom,” and getting back to that person I was before kids.

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So in that way I guess you could say I am self-involved. And I am more than okay with it.

Yes, I do stick my kids in the daycare at my gym 2-3 hours a day, 5-6 days a week, and they love it. Some might say it’s selfish…but I totally disagree. In fact I’m proud of it. Why? Because it teaches my boys important lessons every damn day. #sorrynotsorry

I teach them about hard work and consistency.
I teach them to value their health and challenge their strength.
I teach them to appreciate their bodies.
I teach them to strive for their dreams.
I teach them that sometimes you don’t want to go, but you go because you need it.
I teach them the value of trying new things and failing, learning, and growing.
I teach them the value of goal setting.
I teach them that the work is never done.
And most of all I teach them how to be a happier and healthier adult.

So no, I’m not sorry I’m a self-involved mom, who’s concerned with grabbing my own air mask first. In fact, I think it is the best advice I’d give to any mom. Become obsessed with you, so you can give more to your children! Do it in anyway you see fit. But for me it was fitness and lifting.

 

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